Kristi Noem


Hey, you MAGA fascists: FUCK THE GOP. FUCK TRUMP. FUCK ICE.
You are all on your way out of this world and EVERYONE knows it. Good riddance.


Firing from DHS (March 5,2026)

Kristi Noem was fired by Donald Trump on March 5, 2026 — the first cabinet-level dismissal of his second term. The immediate trigger was her testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee on March 3, where she claimed Donald Trump personally approved a $220 million taxpayer-funded ad campaign featuring her on horseback in front of Mount Rushmore. Trump was reportedly “incensed” by her performance at the hearing, where she also faced rare bipartisan criticism from Republicans.

The broader context included: - Bipartisan condemnation over the Minneapolis shootings (detailed below) - Criticism over FEMA disaster response delays — even some Republicans questioned her handling of emergency funding - A DHS budget shutdown that was ongoing at the time of her firing - Markwayne Mullin, R-Okla., was named her replacement

Noem went ahead with a previously scheduled speech in Nashville that day without mentioning her dismissal.

The Minneapolis “Domestic Terrorist” Controversy

In January 2026, two U.S. citizens — Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti — were shot and killed by federal immigration agents in Minneapolis. Noem publicly labeled both as “domestic terrorists” within hours of the killings.

Key details: - Bystander video contradicted the administration’s narrative; an independent autopsy also disputed early claims (e.g., that Pretti brandished a firearm) - At her Senate Judiciary hearing (March 3), Dick Durbin confronted her: CBP and ICE officials had testified under oath that their agencies did not inform her Pretti was a domestic terrorist. Noem deflected, saying she was getting information “on the ground” and it was a “chaotic scene.” - At a House Judiciary hearing (March 4), she refused to apologize or retract her statements, even when pressed directly by Rep. Sydney Kamlager-Dove - Minnesota AG Keith Ellison called her use of the term “an abuse of the term” - Tricia McLaughlin, Noem’s ICE spokeswoman and most loyal public defender, quit DHS in February after branding the slain protesters “domestic terrorists”

The Lewandowski Affair Rumors

Rumors of a romantic relationship between Noem and Corey Lewandowski (a longtime Trump aide serving as her de facto chief of staff at DHS) have circulated since 2021. Key developments:

Bryon Noem’s Fetish Scandal (March 31, 2026)

The Daily Mail published an investigation revealing that Bryon Noem, 56, had been participating in online fetish forums under the pseudonym “Jason Jackson”: - He sent photos of himself in pink hot pants and fake breasts (reportedly balloons stuffed under clothing) to online models in the “bimbofication” scene - He spent at least $25,000 via Cash App and PayPal on chats, photos, and videos - In one exchange, he allegedly told a model that his wife was having an affair with her adviser: “There’s nothing I can do about it” - A Noem spokesman said the family was “blindsided” and that Kristi was “devastated” - Donald Trump told the Daily Mail he was unaware and “feels sorry” for the family - National security experts raised concerns about potential blackmail risk given Noem’s access to sensitive DHS information - The couple’s financial disclosures later revealed $2.6 million in debts, adding to the scrutiny - Noem reportedly filed for divorce following the report

“Shield of the Americas” Role

Noem was appointed Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas, a new Western Hemisphere security initiative. The role has drawn sustained criticism: - Critics called it a “cosplaying” job and a “fake position” — The Irish Star ran a headline calling her “a joke” after she touted it on Newsmax as potentially “stronger than NATO” - In September 2026, she was photographed at what critics called a staged meeting in Colombia, posing in what was described as the “Shield of Americas office” - An American Thinker columnist questioned what value she was adding, noting she also took a second job representing a Canadian mining exploration company — raising potential conflict-of-interest questions - The role’s summit was held in Doral, Florida

The Elk Hunt Post (September 21, 2026)

On Monday, September 21, Noem posted a carousel of graphic photos on Instagram from an archery elk hunt in Wyoming, showing her posing with the dead, bloodied carcass and her bow propped against the wound. Instagram flagged the post as “sensitive content.”

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